Posted by in handmade, lifestyle

things i'm afraid to tell you

well, here goes…

to start, i fell in love with this movement when i first heard about it on creature comforts. started by jess constable and kicked off by the lovely ez, i was eager to share my part.

to be honest, it’s something i’ve thought about for a long time. the idea is that most bloggers don’t share the ugly, nitty gritty side of things, but rather focus on the more lovely side of life. and, why not? the sole purpose of many blogs is to inspire! however, the issue that arises is that sometimes posting such constant and beautiful content may leave the reader feeling defeated, rather than inspired. is that ever true for you? i know it is for me.

many times i’ll get comments about people being jealous or envious over something i’ve written about. i know that it’s really a nice thing to say, but it’s just never settled well with me. it makes me feel almost guilty that something i post would make someone feel envious, because the feeling i hope to invoke is inspiration, not jealousy. i’ve even toyed with the idea of doing a point and shoot post dedicated to the ugly side of things. :)

the point is, i do live a beautiful life. but, it’s because i choose to see the beauty in the little things, and not focus on the not-so-pretty stuff. i believe anyone can do that! i choose to be inspired by the weather, the flowers, the birds and the bees. but if i were to focus on the less than beautiful stuff i would share with you my laundry, the dog hair underneath my sofa, my toenails that need to be painted and the piles of dirt that always seem to appear on my windows.

we don’t have much money. in fact, we struggle constantly just to pay the bills. that’s why i have to be inspired by the less expensive things in life. our heater usually doesn’t work and most days i have to heap on clothing just to keep warm. toaster is smelly and i swear needs a bath more frequently than any other dog i’ve met.

now that that’s out of the way, here’s what i’m really afraid to tell you:

– i’m overwhelmed. sometimes i feel like i just can’t keep up. everytime i browse the web i see bigger and better blogs and artists doing bigger and better things. sometimes i just have to shut it all off and focus on one task at a time, but i still lose sleep over it.

– sometimes i wonder if you read what i write. if it matters and if it’s interesting. or even if you like me or want to genuinely invest in me as the person behind going home to roost.

– i’m confused on my next step. i’m trying to get a new business going and don’t know what to do next. i feel like i’m staring at a blank piece of paper and can’t put my pencil to it and start drawing. sigh.

- i miss my family. deeply.

– i worry if i ever offend you. i go back and forth on whether or not to share my more personal feelings, especially when it comes to my belief in and love for Jesus Christ.

– i don’t have the best grammer, and i don’t really care.

– sometimes i debate on the direction for going home to roost. what’s the perfect mix of personal, helpful information, handmade goods and freebies? i get weary of posting about products, because i think we already live in a ‘more more more’ world. i want to help fill you up from the inside out, without the need for material possessions.

– and, i love you. sometimes i don’t know if i tell you enough or if it comes across to you as deeply as it is felt within me. i don’t know most of you, but i feel connected to you in a beautiful way. you are what makes this possible and i love writing to you every day. in fact, i’d like to hear from you much more often.

whew! that felt so good, i may have to make it a regular column. it was also hard to write. i don’t want to come off as ungrateful, because i am quite the opposite. i am incredibly blessed by you and honored that you would visit my world.

love and light to each of you! xoxo, bonnie

need to get a few things off your chest? we would all love for you to participate! visit this post to see everyone who has participated thus far and be sure to share your story with us here in the comments sections. i would truly love to read it.

**update! since writing this, i’ve posted a little appreciation post. i am so thankful for all your sweet comments!**

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73 comments

comments

  • Bonnie,
    This post is absolutely wonderful. Thank you for opening up to all of us that love your blog. I was so happy to find your blog just a short time ago. You have a way of making your readers feel comfortable and welcome. It’s an accomplishment you should be proud of that you are able to make others feel as if we know you just through your writing. Your inner light definitely shines through. You do beautiful work and I wish you much success in your future endeavors. Thanks so much again for sharing!

  • What a wonderful post. I think I’m going to have to write one this week x

  • Dear Bonnie,
    I have very recently stumbled across your little world here and I love it. Living a simpler, happier, more creative lifestyle is something I am really seeking at the moment, so your blog feels like a cosy place where I can nestle down amongst some tips and truth. Speaking of truth, this is one of the nicest posts I’ve ever read and it resounded within me. I too have these fearful moments that sometimes threaten to swallow me whole. And actually it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one, incredible to know someone else who is very inspiring, would have very similar thoughts to me. So thank you! And keep up your brilliant work here.
    xx EJ.

  • I swear if I were to participate in this series, I would NEED to copy/paste (nearly) your entire post. It truly resonates with me! Thank you for your bravery—genuine authenticity never hurts in my opinion (quite the opposite!). Know there are many kindred spirits out in the blogosphere. Also, if you ever need a creative bouncing board for your business ideas, I am more than willing to correspond my thoughts/opinions. :) (sometimes a lone corporation just needs a little dialogue)

  • amanda, haha! feel free to copy and paste! lol. thank you so much for connecting, it’s so nice to know so many of us feel the same! and i might just have to take you up on that offer. ;) keep up the beautiful work, girl!

  • Olivia | May 19, 2012

    Bonnie – beautiful that you wrote the unvarnished truth. We (in this mosh pit of life) share your fears, but also your love in Jesus Christ.

    Blessings on beginning your new business (baby steps are sometimes necessary to conquer overwhelm).
    You’re doing great with this blog. Thank you for sharing (I will be writing in my journal some ugly truths).

  • Irina | May 25, 2012

    Dear Bonnie,
    I have never commented on your beautiful blog but it is my favourite thing to read in google reader – and I leave it to read as little breaks and “desserts” in my day :-)

    I had to comment on this post though because it just so resonated with me. I love your blog. It makes me happy and inspires me. Most often. When I have bad days and am feeling sorry for myself I might feel “gosh this girl has it all” but I of course know I am just projecting my pain body out there, you know? And I think it is just a lovely reminder to enjoy everything around you and to focus on the positive bright colourful side of life. And not only to do that but to share it – which I don’t do as often as I wish, so I am grateful for your consistent bright sparks in my day, and for your patience in sticking with this project!

    Big hugs from your silent-until-now reader in Berlin (originally Minnesotan ;-))
    Irina

  • I bet that felt good! :) I think all of us, as women in general, are soooo overwhelmed! This is literally the first day I’ve had off in 2 weeks and I want to cry, ha! The first thing I did was head to your blog. I follow a lot of blogs (not lately though b/c I’m so busy) that have thousands of readers and are very popular, but I just love coming to yours for that simple, outdoors, beautiful, at home feel. Keep doing what you’re doing – love pics of your surroundings, what a beautiful area! Being a biz owner, like myself, is very time consuming and difficult, but the rewards in the long run are great :) I encourage everyone, including myself, to post and encourage Bonnie and each other MUCH MORE!! As women, we really need that! Proverbs 31:30

  • wendy, isn’t that the truth! thank you so much for your encouragement, it means so much. :) and you keep it up as well! we’re here for ya! :) p.s. love that verse!

  • irina, it’s SO nice to meet you!! thank you so much for taking the time to comment, and sharing with me how you feel about ghtr. it really does mean so much! honored to be in your reader. :) xox

  • my my my! i love this post! love the honesty . love that you love Jesus! and love this blog. i just found you via a pinterest link and i’m so glad i did!!

  • Bonnie, I feel SO connected with every single word of this post. I found your blog a few months ago after reading about your visit from Katie Daisy and I immediately sensed you were a kindred spirit and (I had a feeling) fellow believer.

    I love that you love Jesus and am so happy when I find beautiful, artful people who find natural, unassuming ways to be real in their faith without being too “preachy!” I also feel worried about offending people when I write about my faith, but how can I NOT write about it, when Jesus is truly my best friend who inspires all of my life and my art? I have found that even when people don’t believe the same way, they appreciate when your words are coming from your heart.

    Thank you for this post–it has inspired and encouraged me immensely!

  • Carrie | July 9, 2012

    I am thrilled to find your website! It’s wonderful to find someone who is vegan, loves simplicity, and is a follower of Christ. Looking forward to reading everything you post! Carrie from Arkansas

  • Rebecca | October 12, 2012

    Hi Bonnie
    I’m all the way over in Australia and have just come across your beautiful blog. I’ve only been on it for 30 minutes and already I feel I’ve found someplace to come to that is inspiring and meaningful – I agree so much that the world is already “more more more” and not enough about appreciating what we already have – and maybe reusing things rather than going and buying something new. S just to confirm for you – that yes – I am reading your blog and will continue to do so – I already feel very inspired and so happy to have found it. A superb blog for my creative, curious soul !!!! Thank you :)

  • I just read this post- what a wonderful insight into you and your life! I know that I find the most sincere, special blogs are those that are real. I feel like I know you a little bit better just from this post- and your adorable, inspiring and someone I can relate to. I am happy to continue following and supporting you and the Roost!

    (*PS- Love the comment about toaster being smelly)

  • Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and
    I find It truly useful & it helped me out much.

    I hope to give something back and help others like you aided me.

  • wow…..i love this post!

  • Yes, Yes and Yes! Ditto everything, the worry about not being able to keep up, and sometimes because of that… not even bothering to try. I identify with ALL of the things you were afraid to say. Good for you and thank you. :)

  • I also try to focus on the more positive things in life, and I believe that our life is the way we make it :) if I always dwell on things that are depressing and bad of course I’ll feel that way…but lately I’m just trying to smile and enjoy things more than letting little or a little more bigger things bother me…If I can’t change it I just try to make the best of it :)

  • Here is a thing I’m afraid to tell you: Your love for Jesus Christ alienates me completely.

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